An argument had broken out between a Bar Mitzvah boy and his parents. He was insisting on coming to services with a casual 1960’s style vibe. He refused to wear a suit, calling it “preppy.” As you can imagine this did not go over well with his parents. To resolve the dispute, the rabbi was pulled in. Coming dressed as Jimmy Hendrix would not be allowed. The clothes for the occasion, the rabbi told the young man, needed to be special, in whatever way special was defined. He thought it over and picked up a hip suit that both he and his parents could agree upon.
This story was relayed by Rabbi Daniel Brenner, a colleague living in the New York Metropolitan area on the excellent podcast @13, put out by Moving Traditions, about the becoming a B-Mitzvah. I love how it captures both what it is like to be thirteen, and the importance in general of how clothes shape our identity. We see this explicitly in this week’s Torah portion, Titzaveh, as the clothes of the High Priest and his family are prepared for them. Their clothing, called Bigdei Kodesh, holy vestments, include a breastplate, an embroidered coat, and a robe. Most striking are the colors – gold, blue, purple and scarlet. They are meant to be seen from far away. They are meant to be noticed.
I, personally, was never one to care about clothing. Fitting in has always been just fine for me. With one exception, our upcoming holiday of Purim. On Purim, dressing up is fitting in. Our clothes become social commentary, puns, and general silliness. Costumes are not just clothing, they are conversation starters. For once, we are allowed to step out of our normal style, and take on whichever one we so choose.